Captain Capital

Well, I would have gotten back to this by now, but let us say that I have been occupied.

When I last left you, I was going to stake out the good doctors laboratory all day, to organise a plan of attack and to catch him unawares.

Let’s just say that things did not go to plan. Surprised? I sure wasn’t.

I had planned to get up at 4:00am, seeing as how this guy seems to be nocturnal.

I had hoped to catch him coming back from a “night out on the town”. Regrettably, I slept right through my alarm and got woken up at 8:30 by my mother.

Swearing, (earning a cuff across my head for it) I got dressed and ran out the door.

Seeing as how it was later in the morning, there was a crap load of people going to work. There was also way too many people around to try and use my one and only method of long-range transport, which is to ball myself up into as tight a space as possible, condensing myself like a spring and then releasing all that stored up tension at once.

The only downside to this is that lose a lot of force by expanding out in other directions then where I want to go…

Wait. I am getting off track here. All of that can come later. Suffice to say, it took me a good three hours to get to the laboratory. This might not seem like much time to cross half a city, but keep in mind that given good traffic conditions, I can usually get across in one.

When I got in the general vicinity of the lab, I ducked into an alley and snuck up onto the roof of an apartment building, changed and hid my clothes and made my way over to the lab.

It was around about midday when I finally got to the lab and onto the roof. I was resigned from the start to having to wait all day until he left before I could do anything.

Now I learnt something that day, heat sucks when you are semi-transparent. I got real hot, real fast. There was not much cover on the roof, but I took as much cover as I could under a small overhang.

This is the main reason why I almost missed my chance.

It must have been at least five or six o-clock when I heard the door open. By the time I made my way across the roof as quickly and as quietly as I could, I saw Mr. Hare-Man leap away into the coming darkness. Just in time, I dropped off the roof and tried to stop the door from swinging closed, before I realised that the door closed automatically. Desperately, I threw myself through the rapidly diminishing gap and into the room beyond.

Knowing the rough layout of the room from when I came in last time, I made my way through the first room and turned the light on. The place was trashed! Claw marks on every surface, dents in the wall. This guy seemed to have bugged out when he realised I had gotten away. Other then that, the room was empty.

Where had he put all the stuff that he was stealing? The only other door in the room was the one I had seen him go through before.

Sneaking across the room, (I don’t know why I was sneaking, I was the only one there.) I looked into the other room. This was a much larger room then I previous thought. Mainly because a corner of the room had been destroyed. It looked like a tunnel deep into the earth had been hewn from the very building. There seemed no option left but to enter this… burrow if I wanted to find evidence that this guy was a solitary criminal.

However, this left me with a particular pickle. My night-vision sucked! This burrow went deep into darkness, what was I going to do! I needed a source of light.

A quick rummage of the laboratory revealed absolutely nothing that I could use as a makeshift light source.

I considered just hiding until he came back then slipping away to come back later.

This was very tempting, but I decided against it. This guy was dangerous and I was implicated in some of those crimes. This had to end now before someone got hurt or killed. I snuck back into the other room and turned the lights off.

Instantly, everything plunged into darkness. Stumbling through the empty lab, I found the burrow by falling into it. Instinctively, I deformed from my human shape and changed into a ball, rolling down the steep dirt incline.

It felt like I was tumbling downwards for a good minute, but it was more likely ten or twenty seconds before I hit a flat plane. I changed back into my human shape, tumbling to a stop.

I sat there for a few minutes, actually waiting for my eyes to adjust to the darkness before I realised that it was a habit from being human and that I was not going to adjust to the darkness, because it was absolutely pitch black and I DON’T HAVE EYES.

So there I was. Sitting on a cool damp earthen floor, unfortunately tasting it while doing so, wondering what the hell I was going to do next.

That is where I am going to have to leave it for tonight. This is a long-ass tale that is very unpleasant to recall. I need time to get through this.

I’ll… I’ll try to get back to this tomorrow.

Well, I have finally finished sorting through the pile of paperwork I stole from the Rabbit-Man.

A LOT of it, I didn’t understand. There was some serious science jargon in there. But from what I understood of the papers and what I heard on the recorder, this scientist dude was doing experiments on HARES, not rabbits. Why, I have no idea. Something about their metabolism or something. A lot of this stuff went over my head.
Turns out that he was doing experiments on them with a retro-virus to vastly increase their metabolism in order to increase their reproduction rate. From what I understand, he was hoping to use this process to repopulate endangered species.
The only problem is that the hares kept on dying.
Something happened, it’s not clear what, but he got infected by the retro-virus, which re-wrote his genetic code. (The tape on the recorder was damaged pretty badly, I barely got anything off of it.)

Why he is stealing all of this medical equipment I don’t know, perhaps his own equipment got damaged?
If that’s true, why doesn’t he just go to one of his scientist buddies for help? Or the government? Or the police?
Why does he thieve and steal, endangering innocent people?

*sigh* All of this is a moot point. This guy is breaking the law, dangerously physically altered by a retro-virus or not. He needs to be apprehended before he hurts or even kills someone.
The police seem unwilling or unable to even track this guy. I guess reports of a rabbit, sorry. Hare-Man rampaging through the city is an unusual thing to investigate.
It appears that the only one willing and able to take this guy down is yours truly.
Tomorrow is a public holiday. I am going to get up at the crack of dawn to stake this laboratory of his out and plan how I am going to take him down. I got schooled by this guy in our last encounter. I can’t let that happen again.

Well, I snuck out of my house last night (which is a lot easier by being able to slide down the drainpipe, which tastes weird by the way.)

It took me a long, long time to get to the other side of the city without being seen. (It would be much easier if this was New York and I was Spiderman.)

But cross I did, eventually finding that guys laboratory (Which is listed under a business name, so I have no idea who actually owns it.)

(Man I am using a lot or brackets in this blog entry.)

Anyway, after getting lost about five times, I managed to get the right address and find this secure laboratory.

This place was DEAD. For a high-tech laboratory, this place seemed to have no security. Granted, I moved as stealthily as possible, but I felt sure that I would have set off a sensor light or something. The place seemed to be under complete shutdown.

Now, it was already late, but I spent about an hour crawling all over that place trying to find a way in and found NOTHING. Not even an air-vent! How do those people breathe in there?

I was on the roof and was about to give up and go home when I felt a massive thump from the other side of the building, near a door I had tried to get through when I first got there, but found it to be airtight.

Moving over to the side of the building where the door was, I saw the rabbit-man dude thing!

He had used a keypad next to the door to open it and was moving into the dark with that damn big-ass sack of his. Which looked full, unfortunately. Before I even had a chance to think, I jumped down off the roof and slid into the darkness behind the rabbit-guy.

I learnt something that night.

I have absolutely no night-vision. I know that normal night-vision is helped by light reflecting off the skin around your eyes. Obviously, not having skin and such-forth, I was not helped by this.

I edged around the wall, trying to feel my way around the wall. There was nothing I could feel, or do in the dark. I began to panic, but was saved by the fact that a light got turned on. I dropped to the floor instantly, but needn’t have bothered. The light itself was coming from another room.

Sneaking up to the doorway where the light was coming from and poking a sliver of myself around the corner, I saw the rabbit guy pulling devices out of his sack and stacking them onto a table. The room was some kind of lab area, with paperwork and equipment all over the shop. Looking at him, I got scared. This guy tried to kill me last time we met!

Looking at his desk, I saw a hand-held tape recorder and a stack of files. As he left the room, I darted in and grabbed the tape recorder and as many of the files I could carry and ran out of the room as fast as I could.

I had only just left the room when the rabbit-dude came back in. He instantly saw the stuff missing. He looked around the room and looked at the room I was in. He ran out of the room with the light on, and straight over to the door, opened it and ran into the parking lot outside.

I couldn’t believe my luck! I snuck out of the door and hopped up onto the roof of the building. I sat there, huddled in the darkness. Eventually, the rabbit guy went back inside. Quietly as possible, I snuck away and went back home.

I caught seven kinds of hell when I realised I had to go in through the front door with the files and stuff.

(I really need my own hideout.)

Luckily, it was so early that I managed to convince my mom that I was just out for an early morning walk after I had the foresight to steal come clothes off the line.

Unluckily, I had no chance to take a look at those files before I had to go to school today.

Hopefully I will be able to have a gander tonight. Try and sort out who this guy is and what I can do to stop him and clear my name.

So, the other night when I was trying to find a way to sneak back into the convention centre to get to my clothes, I overheard people at the entrance to the centre who were gathering the equipment and devices. They mentioned as they gathered the gear that it seemed that everything that had been taken had applications in the genetic industry.
They thought it was just coincidence, but I thought that these guys were obviously not the pinnacles of the scientific community. A giant rabbit dude thing comes smashing into a medical sciences convention, steals a bunch of genetic machinery and that doesn’t raise a few red flags?

Anyway, at lunch today I spent the entire hour looking up everything I could find about the local genetics community. On some guys’ personal blog, I found that a colleague of his had not been answering his calls or e-mails for the past few weeks. The guy was apparently freaked out, as the other guy was usually Mr. Responsible. The mans laboratory was apparently locked up tighter then Fort Knox when he went over there too.
This is the closest thing I have to a lead on this rabbit guy. I am going to go there tonight to see if I can find anything there.
That is assuming I can find a way in.

Apparently this place is one of the most secure privately owned laboratories on this large, sunburnt land.

Well, in the last blog entry, I promised to tell you what happened next. I understand that some of you who read this might not have heard of me. That’s fair enough, I am not a global sensation, I get that. No big head here. However, I don’t feel the need to go over the past few months in extensive detail. Most of it was quiet. A lot of people believed that the whole thing was a hoax.

On the other hand, I now had an official alias, (albeit one I hate) and had already foiled one crime. I think that my choice was obvious. I had to try to become a superhero.

I had found the ability to adhere to most walls a few days before. Near as I can figure, I don’t stick to them in any such manner, I more so just form fit to the shape of the surface, taking advantages of any ridges or crags to get a lot of friction and if I can, forming a sort of suction effect to increase my ability to cling to a surface. This, I admit, came in handy getting around without being seen at night. I figured that all of this led to a sign that I should try to fight crime.

Here is the thing though. Turns out that criminals? They tend to like to not be found.

Sure, I could find plenty of punks and kids up to no good in the bad areas of town and I did face off with a few of these kids, scaring the living hell out of them, but they were just that. Kids. Kids up to no good, but of no real danger to society or even themselves.

I felt more of a bully then a hero facing off against these kids.

No it wouldn’t do. I had these abilities, I needed to do some good with them. But how do you find out about crime? The answer? I had no idea. After days of toying with ideas, ranging from trying to tap into the police stations radio frequencies to putting up cameras around the city. None of which I had the technical know-how to figure out how to do. That’s when things got interesting.

The next night, I decided to attend a technology show, looking for ideas of how I could keep track of crime in the city. Trust me, it is quite hard to look inconspicuous around adult businessmen looking at everything from security systems to the latest medical technology. Let alone trying to make inquiries about radar frequency scanners and cheap remote charged cameras.

I got a lot of weird looks and a lot of people telling me to clear off.

The real event however, took place at around midday. I was surreptitiously looking at a medical display in the hopes that there would be some… well, something “interesting” to look at. Several of the medical booths had interesting posters on display.

Just as I was about to move on, I heard a hell of a racket down the alley of booths. Looking across the crowded room, I heard people shouting.

Suddenly, a tide of people began to rush past me. I would have moved myself, but I got trapped against the corner of the booth I was peeking at and got knocked to the ground. Instinctively, I rolled under a booth table to get away from the thundering crowd.

Yet again, my first instinct was to change. I shifted form and slid out of my clothes, shoving them under a leg of the booth table to hopefully keep them out of the way so I could get them afterwards, if I was needed.

Moving as quickly and as quietly as possible, I made my way around the back of the booths.

I quickly slung my arms up to the rafters on the open ceiling and pulled myself up there. From this vantage point, I could see the entire convention centre floor.

I quickly saw the source of the trouble about a hundred meters off into the medical technology division of the floor. The cause of the trouble itself was obscured from me in my current position, so using the rafters as a catwalk of sorts, I started to make my way across the floor. I needn’t have bothered, as before I had made my way even part way across the room, a figure leapt into the air and across the convention hall floor.

At first, I had a lot of trouble believing what I was seeing, because what appeared to be practically flying through the air appeared to be an enormous, anthropomorphic rabbit.

Now let me tell you, this mother could JUMP. 200, 300 meters was not out of his easy loping range.

He carried a big sack, of which he seemed to randomly stuffing with gizmos and gadgets from all over the convention centre.

From my position in the rafters, I could not see how I could possibly stop this guy.

Not only could he seemingly jump massive distances, he did so very, very quickly. The guy was acting like he was hopped up on some kind of drug. To be honest, I was pretty sure that there was no way I could keep up with him.

As he leapt from place to place, he talked in one long continuous sentence, a constant stream of babble.

Most of it escaped me over the noise of the crowd, but what I did catch ran along the lines of something like this:

“Well hello ladies! I’ll have some of this, a bit of that, all of that, none of that and half of that! Thankyou people it has been a pleasure doing business with you, please don’t get up I’ll let myself out!”

That’s just a rough transcript mind you. Not word for word.

I soon realised that if I was going to try and stop this guy, I would need to make a move soon. Luck was on my side as he made a massive leap practically right under my position on the roof. Barely having enough time to think, I dropped down from the rafters, intent on landing on him, driving him to the ground and restraining him.

Of course, I mistimed it and he flew past right under me. I lashed out with an arm and managed to grab hold of one of his legs. This did not have the desired effect of dragging him to the ground like I had hoped, but instead stretched me out and dragged me along with him, like a shitty and ineffective anchor.

I am ashamed to admit that I knocked over more then one person as I tried to stop, or even slow down this guy as he leapt from booth to wall to rafter, making his way towards the door.

I must admit, he did time his leap to get out the big doors of the convention centre well, bounding out the front steps and past the big pillars.

As a last ditch effort to even slow this guy down, I wrapped my other arm around one of the big pillars.

I said in a previous blog that I didn’t believe I could feel any pain in my changed form. This experience proved that to be entirely false. It felt like my ‘arms’ were being ripped out of their sockets, if I did indeed officially have either of them. The force was so great as this rabbit guy thing tried to get away that he basically turned me into long and big piece of green string. Basically, what I am saying here, is that it HURT.

Sadly, I could not take the strain and lost my grip on the pillar, sling shotting myself across the car-park and into the giant rabbit, sending him and myself sprawling. I quickly reformed into my default shape and tried to restrain him, but the rabbit had landed on his back and used his powerful hind legs to kick me square in the chest. As I flew away from him, back towards the convention centre, all I heard him say.

“Sorry weird goo guy, you almost had me but not quite, maybe next time you will not be quite such a complete failure.”

I would have been horribly embarrassed about how useless I had been during this entire exchange, had I not thought to wrap one arm around his sack of goodies as we tumbled over the ground. As I tumbled back towards the roof of the building, I snagged an outcropping on the roof and managed to slow my ascent enough to make a rough landing on the roof. Getting to my feet, I saw the rabbit man get to his feet and look about the sparse parking lot to try and find his sack.

Realising what had happened to it, he looked up to the roof, where I held out the bag with one arm.

He bunched down on his haunches and made a dizzyingly fast jump right towards me, his massive front ‘paws’ I suppose, outstretched towards me. Checking later, I saw that his jump had actually cracked the concrete on the ground, such was the force of his jump.

I had barely enough time in the darkness to drop off the edge down the front of the building before he went shooting overhead.

Using an arm to anchor myself to the roof, I bungyed down the side of the building, quickly emptied the bag at the front door and grabbed a trash bag out of a bin and rammed it into the sack and took off across the parking lot and into the park.

What I am sad to say is that I barely made it into the park before the rabbit guy thing landed in front of me and sliced me across the face with his claws. I dropped the back and clutched my face, which was oozing my internal goo. By the time I got over my pain, he had grabbed the bag and took off into the night.

I heard his thumps as he took off into the distance, but could not tell which direction he had gone.

My main concern at that point however was the fact that my face had been sliced open I was surprised to find that the goo that has been exposed to air has already hardened to the texture that the rest of my epidermal layer was. Much like a normal scar would over time.

To top it all off, by the time I had managed to make my way back into the convention centre, my clothes were gone, making me take another long hike home in my changed form.

The next day, it hit me how close I came to death and I had the panic attack that I mentioned in my first post. That very day I started this blog.

Well, there you have it. The entire story to date. Now, not only do the police think that I am connected to these crimes, I think I am going to have a very pissed off rabbit/man after me.

If I am ever to clear my name and have any chance to have the public think I am actually a good person, I need to find this guy and bring him to justice. I have a few ideas of how to find this guy, but it might not be a good idea to list them here until I try them out.

Don’t want to give my hand away too early.

“Causing personal injury and property damage.”? Screw you George Hughes! You weren’t even there!

Okay, this telling of my past is starting to get dragged out. REALLY dragged out. I will give you the cut down version so I can get to telling you the important parts that happen later on.

After a few weeks of practicing with every free moment I had, I found out that I could trigger the transformation with less and less effort. For a while I had to get really emotional to do it. Anger and fear seemed to be the main triggers. To this day I don’t know why.

I also found that with enough concentration, I could form my bulk of slime into a roughly human shape. This took a lot out of me at first; I could barely hold it for a few seconds before slumping back into ‘blob form’ as I began to call it. After a lot of practice it became easier and easier though, until I could just stay like that for as long as I felt like. In fact, it became my default shape. It is sort of like I trained the goo into remembering that form until it became second nature.

Train as I might, there were limitations to my new form. It had limits to its stretch, for example. Using my ‘arms’ to reach out across distances became second nature after a while. Flinging out an arm to grab something became a habit. I realised that I could “borrow” mass from the rest of my body to extend the reach of that arm if the natural elasticity of itself wasn’t enough. (One of the advantages of being a fluid mass.)

But there is a certain upper limit at which the goo itself reaches a breaking point.

I am not sure what that is exactly, because even though the distance did increase given practice, (like a muscle streching over time with training) I never really wanted to push my luck and hurt myself.

I can’t really remember to what end I thought all of this practice was going to get me. I think I just found it fun. Treating the situation like a game, testing the limits of my new form.

It got to a point where all I did was sit in my room, seeing how close I could push myself to the breaking point without actually going over the edge.

Looking back, I laugh at myself. Even after the breif intervening time, my attitude has changed so much. Which leads me to a point that I have been aching to get to.

The point where this ability of mine stopped being a secret, kinda.

I was on one of my now brief trips outside of my house, down to the local comic book shop. I had recently become really interested in the Fantastic Four, I wonder why?

It had become pretty routine, down to the comic book shop, grab my new comics, then straight back home to read them.

Unfortunately, my mother had pestered me into: “Going to the movies or something for Christs sake! Just get out of the house for once!”

Man, she can really be a bitch at times.

…Maybe I shouldn’t say that about her. I have put her through a lot these past few months.

But I am getting side-tracked. I was forced to go outside and actually do something, which kinda ticked me off, as I had been planning to try something new that day in my alternate form. What is was slips my mind at the moment, as the rest of the details of the day are blazoned into my mind obscuring the rest. I was going to go see some movie when I stopped at an ATM to get some money out. I had just pulled my card out of the machine when all sorts of alarms went off and a huge guy wearing a ski mask and black clothes busted out of the main doors holding a gun. He looked around wildly and began to run down the street towards me.

My first instincts had made me fun away and duck down an alley and hide from him, but as luck would have it, he ran into the same one, obviously looking for a way out of sight as police cars came screeching around the corner.

Instantly, he saw me hiding in the shadows and advanced and said, and I quote word for word:

“Sorry kid, this doesn’t seem to be your lucky day. You just became a hostage.”

Now, as soon as I saw him come around the corner, I had automatically changed. Luckily at that point it didn’t mean that I lost my clothes, so when the guy grabbed my shirt and pulled me into the light, I don’t blame him for freaking out. I mean, I didn’t really have any facial features back then.

It was just the previous week that I had figured out how to speak by vibrating a rudimentary voice box. Which is fucking hard to do, if I may say so. Well, this guy flipped out and shot his gun. Luckily it missed me, but it surprised me enough to make me knock the gun out of his hands and smack him in the face. Unfortunately, this knocked him out of his surprised stupor and he began to grapple with me. I am no small fellow, but this guy had obviously been working out, as he was pretty large. We struggled with each other for a few seconds, me not wanting to let him go in case he went for his gun, and him obviously not wanting to let go of what he probably thought was a monster or something. I pulled partly free of him and shoved him out into the street, unfortunately getting dragged out there with him. Once we hit the pavement, he rolled over on to the top of me and was about to plant his fist in what looked like my face when I used something I had been working on. Bunching up a pile of goo around my shoulders area, I built up a sort of tension, shooting both arms forward, flinging him up and away from myself. This ruined my shirt, the extra mass bunching around the shouler area ripping it apart. I also lost my pants at that point, having drawn the extra mass from my legs.

Only having found out I could do this the other day, I was surprised how far this guy flew. He went a good twenty feet in the air, landing on the bonnet of a cop car, the bag he had been holding still slung over a shoulder. Getting to my feet, I found ten cops pointing their guns at me. I re-formed and got to my feet and tried to assess the situation. The cops seemed a little more interested in me then the bank robber on the bonnet, who seemed to be out cold, but seemed to be a little shocked by what was standing in front of them to say much of anything. Although, to their credit, two of them did pounce on the guy with the bag full of money.

Next came the worst thing I could have said. I was really worried that the cops were going to fire on me as a public hazard or something. I was still getting used to the 360 degree vision, but I saw a news van pull up behind me and people hop out. I turned to them and said (in halting sentences. I was still ‘learning’ how to talk when changed):

“Hello! I stopped criminal! Good guy me!”

*slaps forehead* Why oh why didn’t I run away?

To be honest, the news girl recovered pretty quickly and asked me who I was. I hesitated, but realised I couldn’t just stand there saying nothing and give the cops a chance to get their act together and try to arrest me or something, but I also couldn’t very well say my own name, so I said the first thing that came to mind.

“Me Captain…” I paused, unsure of what to say next and tried to buy myself some time by spelling it out. “Capital C…”

I never got any further, as by that point the reporter had gotten the camera hooked up and turned to it and said to whoever was on the other end of the line:

“You heard it first! We may have our very own guardian of this city who goes by the strange name of ‘Captain Capital’!” She paused to gesture towards me over her shoulder. “Who seems to have taken out a bank robber by himself. What he was doing here in the first place and if he was actually in cahoots with the thief remains to be seen.”

She of course said all this over my halted attempts at correcting her, telling her that my name in fact was not ‘Captain Capital’. Of course by the time she finished I was painfully aware that not only was everyone on the street watching me, from the cops to the bank tellers to the few pedestrians that had shown up to see what the commotion was, but also everyone on the other end of the camera. The cops by this point were shouting at me to get down on the ground. I will admit that I panicked at that point.

I legged it back into the alley and down around behind the bank. At the first available opportunity I leapt underneath a dumpster, aware that the cops would be right behind me. I was right too. A few seconds after I had taken refuge, I saw their boots go thundering past me down the alley. I must have waited under that dumpster for six hours before I decided it was safe to come back out. The cops must have come back up and down that alley ten times before they left. Once I had come back out, I changed back into my normal form and walked away.

Painfully aware that I had to walk all the way home yet again in the nude.

I copped several types of hell when I got home, for being out so long and not calling home, but there was a certain sense of elation when I saw myself on the news being credited with stopping a criminal. That of course was counteracted by the fact that I was also accused of running from the cops, possibly being connected to the crime and being accused of being a vigilante mind you.

So there we go. It is all out now. For those who had not figured it out yet, I am the Australian hero that some of you may have heard of, stuck with the unfortunate name of “Captain Capital”. Why?! I could have been anything! The Goo Master, Captain Ooze, The Living Slime! But no. Captain fucking Capital.

Fantastic.

Still, I feel better for putting my side of the story forth. It feels good to have my version of the events out there. Perhaps do some good for my reputation.

This was my first ever newspaper clipping. Could have been worse, could have been better I suppose.

Next up: what happened next!

Sorry about the delay with getting back to this. Life has been getting in the way of this. Which kinda sucks, as I have been desperate to get back to this and finish my “back-story” as it were.
I left off after my first change and a harrowing nude dash across the city, which still haunts my dreams to this day. In fact, sometimes I wish for that dream, instead of some of the others I have. But all of that will reveal itself in time.

When I got home from that first change, I freaked out. I am not talking about a little fit. I am talking about a grade-A super maximum level freak-out. I broke stuff. Expensive stuff.
I don’t know though, how does one handle the fact that you can turn into a blob of goo? It is a bit much for someone to deal with rationally I think. Freak out aside, I think that I calmed down pretty well. After all, some people would kill to have a power like this. Right?
…
Right?

Whatever. The fact remains that I now possessed the ability to turn into a blob of goo.
Being a comic reader, my first instinct was to try to do it again. But how was I going to get the gut-wrenching terror required to trigger the change? I wasn’t very well planning on going into a bad area of town and flipping off some gang members.
I tried standing on the roof while I was still the only one home, but that just made me nervous. The idea of jumping off was a thought that made me a little scared, but I wasn’t very well planning of taking the chance that I was going to survive the fall by changing.
I was about to give up when I realised that I had not just tried to make myself change. After all, maybe it wasn’t just an automated response.
So, I sat in my room and just concentrated my ass off. Just when I felt like I was about to break through a barrier, I heard the front door slam open. My mother and sisters were home. I had lost any chance at finding some privacy for the night.
Well, I don’t want to dwell on my family life, or say too much about them, in case I give too much away.

Moving onto the next day, I found myself home alone, a rarity on school holidays. I locked myself in my room and did everything I could think of to trigger the change, meditation, exercise (in case an elevated heartbeat triggered it), pain (slamming my hand in a drawer HURT) but nothing worked. I finally gave up after three hours of this and stomped my way down the stairs into the kitchen, planning to get something to eat, only to stub my toe on the doorstop.
Screaming in pain, I got angry and I felt a familiar sensation. Suddenly ‘gloop!’ I was on the floor.
I tell you what, it came as a bit of a shock. I will also admit that I got freaked out again. It took me a long time to get past the initial panic that occurs when I changed.
Once I had gotten calm, I realised that I could move! Near as I can figure it is a mix of rolling and snail like movement.

Looking back, I laugh at how amazed I was by the fact that I could move. I swear it felt like I rolled around that kitchen floor for half an hour.
After a while, I began to explore what I could do. The ‘seeing from every direction at once’ was difficult to get used to. I mean, it was really disorientating. Not to mention the whole not being able to blink.
Eventually, I did get tired of rolling/moving about the place and began to explore what else I could do with this new form of mine. I found that I could… flow, I suppose is the right word, through small spaces. The smaller the hole, the more uncomfortable it got though. The smallest opening I could fit through would have to have been about two to three centimetres across. This discovery came from a useful hole in a cupboard. No matter the size of the hole, it never seemed to hurt.

In fact, due to my malleable form, I didn’t think I could get hurt.
I also found that after a little bit of practice, that with effort, I could change my form to an extent. This was a lot of fun. Making (non-functional) faces appear, spikes appear all over my form, and even hammers and the like.

I think this is time to lay to rest a rumour that has been circulating in the media. I am not, repeat NOT oozing. When changed, my form is contained within an epidermal layer. For those wondering, that means that for all extensive purposes, I have a layer of skin like material keeping me all together. This is basically the same stuff as I am all the way through, but slightly tougher due to its exposure to the atmosphere. Near as I can tell, one the stuff I am made of is exposed, it changes slightly itself to absorb the light, sound and scents around me, which in turn is transmitted to the rest of me. I am NOT a slime monster that oozes all over the place wherever I go. Got it? Good.

That will do for now. Sadly, I have homework. As much as I would like to blow my night getting this all out there, trigonometry is a harsh mistress.

Okay, where was I?
*Looks back at previous entry.” Right, duh.
Dude hounding me, bad times.

One day, on the final day before Christmas break, I chose the risky route of trying to outrun them. Sometimes this method worked, sometimes I got cornered and got a beating. This day was different though. As I ran down a maze of alleys and hopped over fences and into backyards with them hot on my tail, something in me snapped. I hid around a corner and as the scrawny kid came around it, I pushed him. Hard. Right into his fellow tossers.
Instantly, I realised this was a bad idea. I couldn’t take on all five of them! I turned tail and ran.
Something happened, it is all a bit fuzzy after all this time, but I took a wrong turn and ended up in what I knew to be a dead end. I tried to back-pedal, but it was too late. The gang poured onto me and they were PISSED. I took a worse beating that day then I ever had before. Somehow I made it out of the circle of pain and took off into what I thought was the way I had came, but was in fact further into the dead end alley.
What? I had just received more then a light beating on the top of the skeleton, I was a little confused.
By the time I recognised my error, it was too late. I had nowhere to go. For whatever protection it would give me, I hid behind a dumpster.

As I lay crouched there, arms over my head, eyes tightly clenched, heart beating a mile a minute, barely able to hear their advancement down the alley over it as they beat anything that looked like it could hide me.
The closer they got, the more scared I got, until all I could hear was my heart beating in my ears and all I could feel was adrenalin pouring through my veins like hot lead.
I was about to make a dash for it when something amazing happened. To this day I cannot tell you what first triggered it. All of the adrenalin? Some subconscious fight or flight instinct? Fear of death? No idea. Whatever it was, some trigger deep in my genetics flicked over and I… changed, I suppose is the best way to put it.
I freaked out when it began to happen, but by the time I tried to scream, I no longer had any mouth.
That’s right. You heard me. I think more then one of you might be beginning to figure out who I might be.
Within seconds, the change had finished. The sensation of it is hard to describe, but as far as I can tell I had turned from a teenage boy into a pile of goo of equivalent mass.

Yep. Somehow I had turned into a pile of goo. I was still myself, but I no longer had any limbs or anything. Like I said, it is nearly impossible to describe using a language that has dealt with only 5 senses for all its life. I could still see, after a fashion, but it seemed that my entire surface absorbed the light, allowing me a 360 degree view, which is strange enough, let me tell you. As for sound, the same seemed to apply. My entire surface seemed to absorb sound, giving it an odd echo. As for taste? Well, let me just allow you to continue the pattern and let you imagine what the floor of an alley tastes like. Smell was the same. Any scent that brushed against my surface was like a symphony of smell. Not a good thing when you are up against a dumpster.
I could not speak though, which made all my freaking out take place entirely silently.
Of course, I recognised all this later. All that ran through my head at the time was one long continuous scream.

In my panic, not only about being a gigantic pile of goo, but about being found as such, I tried to press myself between a bin and the dumpster and discovered I was extremely fluid and not only managed that, but was able to squeeze behind the dumpster itself. Not a picnic for my new found sense of taste.

Just as I managed to do that, they gang leapt around the corner of the dumpster to find my torn clothes and backpack just lying there on the ground. Unable or unwilling to find what they could only assume to be me running around naked, the proceeded to tear my clothes up and scatter the contents of my bag around the alley and walked off laughing. After they were gone and I had figured out how to move again, I came out from behind the dumpster. Sure that there was nobody around, I desperately tried to turn back to my normal self only to find that I couldn’t.
It was at this point that I would have pissed myself, had I a bladder. I basically just lay there, sobbing to myself, convinced that I was stuck like this for ever.
After a while, I calmed down and tried to think. I had been terrified when I had changed and was still terrified, so obviously it wasn’t the trigger to changing back.
Fighting my instincts, I managed to calm myself a little. After a while, I was almost convinced that it was not working, I felt a shiver all over.
Instantly I panicked again and the sensation left. Excited beyond belief, I calmed myself again and after a few minutes, the shivering feeling came back. It got more and more violent as I desperately tried to fight my instincts to flip out. Soon it felt like I was stretching, a pleasurable sensation like you have when you get out of bed and just stretch. This continued and I eventually felt my 360 degree view, taste smell and sensation fade away, replaced by what I now see and my poor fixed senses.
I am glad that nobody came down the alley at that point, because they would has seen me sitting there, naked as a jaybird.

I will spare you the embarrassing details, but after gathering up what was left of my belongings, I made a nude and hellish run across the remaining distance to my home, several times nearly getting caught by members of the public in the process.

Well, I think that is enough venting for one night. I won’t give away the details of who I am yet, might as well have some fun seeing if anyone can figure it out before I finish the whole back-story.
I do feel better though. I tend to get misconstrued in the media, hopefully this blog will eventually put some rumours to rest.
See you next time gang!

Lately, the pressure of my life has almost been crushing me. All the secrets I keep, the lies I tell to those I love, the danger I am in on an almost daily basis, all of these things and more led to me almost losing control. I was just going about my daily routine halfway through the school day when all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am not afraid to say that I freaked out. Ducking into a stairwell, I had what I could only describe as a panic attack.
I was crouched into a freaking foetal position, trying very hard not to hyperventilate.
After a while, I calmed down and thought about the situation I am in. I mean, really thought you know? Made myself honest about the condition of my life. Immediately I realised that keeping it all to myself wasn’t healthy. It was practically eating me out from the inside, keeping all the emotions and thoughts bottled up the way I was.
I made a decision right then and there in some random stairwell that I needed some way to vent. Get some of it off my chest.
Due to circumstances you may or may not be aware of, talking to people I actually know is not really an option, so I did what any normal teenager would do.
I made a blog.

The question now is this: what do I do now? Where do I start with this remarkable tale of mine? One thing is for sure, I want to keep my identity secret. The last thing I need is people knowing who I actually am and where I live. So, as I am writing, it seems appropriate that I take on an alias.
When I need to, I will refer to myself as… Alex.
Yeah, I think that is appropriate.

As for where to start, I think that if my English class has taught me anything in the days where I actually pay attention and am awake, it is that you should always start at the beginning. For that, we have to backtrack almost half a year ago.

-

Four months ago, I was a normal teenager in year 10…
Wait. Thinking back, a lot of this stuff is not going to make much sense unless I give you at least a small amount of family history. Here is where I walk a line. Too much said and someone will be able to track me down. Too little and nothing will make sense.

Okay, let’s just stick to the basics at the moment. My father died before I was born and I have two sisters. Both of who are older then me. (Woo! Fun times as a kid!) Their ages do not really matter at this point. All that matters is that I live in a household of estrogen. It explains a few things about myself. Mainly that I was not really a normal teenager, unless that is code for a guy who had no friends to his name and spent his days reading books in the library.
Let’s face it. I was a loser. A mega loser. The ultimate walking wedgie.
For a while, I got by in relative obscurity. Nobody really paid me much attention and I in turn barely paid attention to people outside my personal bubble.
I did okay in class, nothing fancy, but not failing either. For as far as I ever thought ahead, I was resigned to this being my life and I had grown to accept that.
One day, all that changed.
Hold up. How much does this sound like I am a freaking comic book character? This reads like the first issue where they setup the characters past. Weird. At any rate, cliché or not, this is how it happened.
One day, it did all change. A new student came to town. Usually this would not register as a blip on my tiny personal radar, but this new guy seemed to home in on me.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not unusual. New kids see the quiet guy and decide to get a few points by picking on him. Usually I just ignore them and eventually they move on.
This new guy didn’t. He kept on hounding and hounding me. Never let up. Scrawny little bastard too. In hindsight, if I had actually stuck up for myself in the beginning, none of this might have happened.
Ah well. Can’t change the past. At least, I can’t.
Getting back onto topic, this scrawny little prick soon inundated himself into a crowd with his humorous (to them) bullying of me. It soon became a game to them to see how far they could push me. Wherever I sat in class, they would sit behind me, poking me with sharp pencils, lunch became a chase scene out of a prison movie. I the innocent escaped convict looking for sanctuary, they the corrupt marshals hot on my tail, looking to take their nightsticks to the top of my skeleton.
Okay, they didn’t have nightsticks, but you get the idea. Not even the library was a safe haven anymore. But the worst, the WORST time of day was the walk home. They all lived in roughly the same neighbourhood as me, so I either had to try to outrun them, or wait for hours until after they had given up finding me and had gone home.

…Dammit, sorry guys who might eventually read this, my mom’s calling me. I have gtg. I’ll see if I can get back to this tomorrow if I am not too busy.